Wednesday, April 27, 2005

James Dobson Was (nearly) Right

File this under B for better late than never.

I wrote about this months ago on some other site. Possibly FreeRepublic, to which I belonged for about three days until I was kicked off and all traces of my existance wiped from the earth.

Anyway even though the fire over this has died down, it remains relevant. James Dobson, he of Focus on the Family, made an absolute laughing stock of himself when he challenged a pro-tolerance video sent to elementary schools. He was (mis?)quoted as saying Spongebob Squarepants was gay. He later denied saying this on Scarborough. Too bad he denied it. Spongebob IS gay. I have proof.

By all-accounts Spongebob is an animated representation of an anthropomorphic sea sponge. A sea sponge is a primative animal of the phylum Porifera. Almost all sea sponges fit into one of four catergories, though there are something around 15,000 species of sponge. However, even though there are thousands of varieties, a vast majority of them are, in essence, asexual.

Asexual, meaning that there are no male or female sponges, rather they can play either the male or female role depending on what is needed for hot spongy sexual reproduction. In a pinch some sponges can even play both roles and will reproduce asexually. So, basically, sponges swing both ways.

Because there is only one "sex" of sponge, by definition, they are homosexuals. They are gay. They engage in sex with animals that are sexually identical to themselves. If I had to pick the type of gay, I would have to say lesbian. No gay male would be caught anywhere near a vagina.

Dobson, in retreating from his non-claim that Spongebob was gay was not only wrong, he also passed up a great opportunity to educate our nation's children as to the fascinating reproductive nature of one of the oldests creatures on the planet.

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